Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Open Letter to RadioShack Cycling Team and Andy Schleck

I was on a  road ride today and the bottom 4 centimeters of my arms were freezing. Which makes my hands cold. My jacket is too short, it is the longest one I have found but it isn't perfect. I realized I want Andy Schleck's old clothes. I know. You probably didn't expect that one. But here is the deal, Andy and I are just about spot-on the same exact size. According to his bio on the RadioShack page he is 68 kilos and 186 centimeters tall. I am 67 kilos and 188 centimeters tall. For those who don't know what that means
I am skinny and tall.                              
None of the bikes in the background are mine. They are my roommates.

















The problem I have with being this skinny and tall, not only do I not have a very good lap for a dogs to cuddle in which leads to a dog holding the chair in his sleep, I can't find cycling clothes that fit. I am not overly picky, it is just that everything is very "American" sized. I am not the size of the average American. If I buy a size small it is usually still loose in the torso, but a little short and the arms are way too short. If I get a bigger size then everything is way too loose and the length is getting to OK.

So that is why I want his clothes. I am not some freak that wants to sniff Andy's used chamois. I am not going to do anything weird. I am going to wash the stuff, put it on, and go out and be warm on my bike rides. Or ride a long 80+ mile day in the summer and not have my under carriage rubbed raw because my small shorts are still a little too big. 

I am sure if I were to spend huge amounts of money I could buy clothes that fit. But the truth is I don't want to do that. I am 25 years old, just starting a real career and a savings account. The honest truth is my roommates offer me a great living situation which allows me to enjoy more racing and still start saving for my future. I can't justify dropping the $250-300 per pair of shorts that I would have to get to fit me. (I am assuming some uber-model from every company would fit as it has the real racer cut, not the Americano lard ass cut).

I am being 100% serious. I can only imagine that these clothes will be all but thrown away tomorrow. The Trek team will fire up and they will have all new clothes for everyone. Andy won't be caught dead wearing RadioShack stuff because he is literally PAID to wear Trek team stuff starting tomorrow. I am not asking for one of his bikes, or a wheelset, or a power meter. I am asking for something that will be boxed up and discarded. Or maybe it's donated and if so why not to me? The amazing gift to have a pro style fully tailored wardrobe that I could never afford? I would be head over heels giddy.

I will pay for shipping. I will donate some money to a charity for you. I will straight up buy the stuff if you say "I need some money to make it worth my time to box it up and ship it to you" but whatever, I want the stuff. 

I'm on the Cannondale, shorts wrinkling in hip.


















When I race CX my mtn bike is my B bike.






















If you look close my HR strap shows through my borrowed skin suit.
















If you want to contact me it's real simple. matthewemcculley at gmail dot com.

1 comment:

  1. There should be some sort of skinny kid clothes sharing program, like an underground network for trade between the waistband-challenged. I'm thinking a Facebook group.

    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete